The myriad ways that men can ruin or endanger relationships is on level with digits only dreamed and imagined by savants and God. Or crazy men and women. The field becomes markedly more difficult once you’re engaged in a very long distance scenario where contact with your woman is minimal. The explanations for long distance relationships are somewhat varied, often having to do with emotional aversions to regular contact or the inability to commit whole time to a single person. Sometimes it’s awkward timing, or the lack of options.
If you are wanting to sabotage or otherwise infect your connection with little stains of ill behaviour, then you’ve arrived at the ideal place. As a relationship expert with no credentials but plenty of real-world expertise, I have decreased these heretofore unquantifiable screw-ups in an easily readable listing, which you may print out and examine when you visit a crossroads. Should you desire to mess up your connection, simply continue or amplify the following behaviors. Should you wish to avoid such devilishness, the list also helps point out possible pitfalls, proving that forewarning the birds in the bush will keep them from becoming a bird in the hand, and as everybody knows, is a metaphor for a break-up. Whilst the list is by no way complete, it does cover a lot of ground.
Feel free to pass this on to other males that are in or going to be involved in a serious relationship. They are:
(These also use to non-distance relationships)
Lie about the small things. It will not have the effect of a massive deception, like an affair, but may really have a cumulative effect that is as destructive as sleeping around. She won’t know you’re lying. But you will. And then she will grab you in one. Every lie is like a broken brick on the wall holding the bridge up. Take some of them out, and you’ve got yourself a Jenga game. Take a lot of them and you’ve got a collapsed bridge with all the 8am work visitors on it.
2). Don’t apologize for your small screw-ups. This is great because it’ll slowly alienate you from her, creating an ever-widening rift of unresolved quibbles that soon require major operation to suture back together. It’s a lot simpler and feels better to stay loyal on your own rightness. You can even try and control her through tone of voice or specific key phrases to feeling bad, even though you’re the one who had been an ass.
3). Want her only for what she can do for you. The timeless selfishness approach to relationships will make you satisfied and happy, but her feeling diminished as a person and a buff. Your needs must trump hers if you do not want the love to last.
4). Substitute being together with her doing things for her. This is a subtle distinction, but one which creeps up on you once you get busy or just don’t feel like spending time with her to the phone or shooting her a more email. Whenever she asks you for a favor, you must have the ideal attitude and openness to perform it. This will cause you to feel guilty later when you’re “too busy” to talk or you need to fit her in. It won’t be too long until she realizes you’ve given up actually caring about her and therefore are just paying lip service to the relationship.
5). Stop being intimate. Do not send her gifts or packages. Procrastinate on that mixed CD. Be passive when you’re with her, let’s make all of the moves. Stop cuddling and holding hands when you are together.
6). Stop attempting to comprehend her. Initially everything she did and said was cute and possibly mysterious. You wanted to understand every thing about her. Now that you want out, stop asking questions. Don’t ask into her day or deeper things about her life which you haven’t discovered yet. Make the relationship surface-oriented, and you will soon discover there’s not much you have to do in order to stop completely.
Do not sacrifice for her. This is sort of a corollary to #3, as this goes back to some basic assumptions concerning the relationship. As you’re in it for you, sacrificing does not make sense, unless it may signify a larger reward for yourself down the line. Sacrifice is stupid if you don’t truly believe in you as a couple.
Following these tips will make you happy, at least temporarily. They will most likely make her unhappy, so if you can live with that, then they are great “human follies” that can set you in the publication with millions of other men who were unable or unwilling to spend the effort necessary for a very long distance relationship to work. Many of these occur by accident, or at the natural path of every day life. The surest way to create a connection to fail is to just ignore the signs which you’re committing these basic errors. But if you would like to maintain your desperate grip on this woman who has set up with so much, you can offset the harm by following the connection picture provided as a progressive solution to each foible. Many are cross-linked for greatest advantage to men of stripe as targeted by this article.
Signals To Yourself
You can readily tell when these methods of destroying your relationship have become ingrained to your interactions with her. Each has a corresponding signal, either psychological, psychological, or physical, which can guide you into making the choice to either continue said behaviour or adjust so as to minimize the risk that she’ll take the initiative and dump you. In the end, the author understands that lots of men are desperate, and will take being chucked as a fracture to their fragile self. It has caused many wars and also the evolution of the sports car industry.
When you see you insist on paying for all, then you emotionally stab her in the face because she didn’t cover (even if she provided and you refused)
You discover fresh ways to say “I’m busy that night.” Frequently this involves vague mentions of meetings or work.
You substitute her photograph with a brand new desktop of something specialized or enhanced (such as a gadget or a bikini model).
You no longer write her poems.
You’ve “I love you!” As a quick dial option for text messaging. Then you stop using it except once she’s texts you.
You start wanting a social life. The funny thing is, you never had a social life before you started dating.
You think those little things she always did that you thought were so adorable are just annoying now.
You take longer glances in other women’s legs, breasts, and butts.
You intend telephone dates around your schedule.
Telephone dates used to continue four hours. Now they last one. You’re always relieved when she’s a break to go to the bathroom. You are disappointed when she calls.
Ruining Your Relationship Might Be Hazardous To Your Health
Okay, so I don’t really want you to ruin your relationship. I want you to understand if you are heading down the path to Singlesville. Believe it or not, the connection hasn’t changed. You’ve got. You, along with countless other men, have been taught by culture to jump ship at the first indication of trouble. It’s very likely that you’ve considered breaking up with her because you’ve started experiencing these signals and you have noticed these patterns of behavior in your interactions with her.
Suck it up. Call up her. Tell her you have been messing up. Admit that you’ve been lazy and ego-centric and unresponsive to her requirements. Tell her you need to do better. Tell her you need to make things work, and that to do so, will require change in your part. Repeat ever